7/16 Quick Hits

The North Korean soccer team has been caught "doping" at the World Cup. This instantly explains their world domination on the soccer field... But not so fast! The players doping were the same players that were allegedly struck by lightning last month during a practice match, says the N. Korean federation.

A balanced budget amendment is gaining more momentum during the most recent debt crisis debate. Sen. Orrin Hatch says that a balanced budget amendment is the only way out: “Our nation is in the midst of one of the most critical debates in generations," Hatch said. "It is a debate about the size, scope, and shape of our national government.". The GOP is wanting the amendment passed as a condition of raising the 'debt ceiling', which Obama and the Dems dearly, dearly want, despite every Democrat (including Obama) voting against raising the debt ceiling back in 2006.

13 California Counties Look to Secede and Create a New State as they are fed up with the current state of their State. It's unlikely this will amount to anything significant - an uphill battle awaits this secession attempt.

In Mexico, 12 police were killed in an ambush orchestrated by gunmen at a fake road block. Meanwhile, soldiers near Tijuana came across the largest marijuana plantation ever detected, 300 acres worth about $160 million.

A great indicator that the Obamacare health care law is a failure, says Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo), is the amount of wavers given to companies and institutions. 39 new wavers were granted last month, bringing the total to nearly 1,500. To illustrate this, Barrasso said he will introduce a bill next week to allow every American to apply for an Obamacare waiver.

Jazz Mascot Humiliates Fan

The Jazz Bear is widely considered one of the best NBA mascots. Here, he hazes an opposing fan who is waving a "JAZZ STINK" poster. The fan notices and appears to sucker punch or elbow Bear in the gut, doubling him over. Up comes security, and they break up the little scuffle as Bear doesn't back down.

You'll see Bear pick up the hat of the ejected fan, and follow him down, waiving goodbye with it on the court. The fan never does get his hat back, but it's not for lack of trying. Staged? Possible... but I'd lean toward this being real.

Judge Tosses Rape Victim in Jail, Next to Attacker

You hear about misguided Judges all the time. Here's just another example, this one in Detroit, of why there needs to be more oversight or peer review of impromptu decisions by moody Judges. Here's an excerpt from the full story. A little excessive for blurting out a naughty word in court, don't ya think?

It's already extremely hard for rape victims to come to court and testify.   This alleged rape victim  says the only reason she came back was to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else.

This woman found the courage to come back to court and testify against one of the men who she says beat her with everything from a chair, to a two-by-four and raped her repeatedly before she found a way to escape from this Strasberg Street in Detroit.

That nightmare only continued at a Wednesday hearing , when she claims defense attorney Gabi Silver kept badgering her on the stand insinuating that she brought this attack on herself, causing this victim to snap in court.

"I said just get to the point bitch, it slipped out, it was inappropriate... all the bottled anger" says the alleged victim.

Without a warning, she says 36th District Judge Vanessa Bradley held her in contempt and ordered her to spend three days in jail.
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But to make matters even worse, she says her time in a holding cell was spent right next door to her alleged attacker who she says threatened her life, claiming the suspect who is still on the loose will come back and kill her.  An investigation into this matter is underway.

Tune In Tokio

A 61-year old Colorado woman has been accused of groping the breast of a TSA agent in Phoenix. We all knew This was bound to happen sooner or later, didn't we? I'm sure the woman simply thought it seemed like the the right thing to do...

But we can't have untrained Americans walking around groping complete strangers. This is something that must be left to trained professionals, those properly credentialed and certified, and that have completed the appropriate amount of supervised groping by trained groping instructors.

Now, if alleged groper Yukari Mihamae is able to get a good lawyer, he'll clearly argue that the groping was consensual.  But to me, she has already lost in the Court of Public Opinion. It's people like this that give the good, upstanding groping professionals of the Federal Government a bad name.

Click Here for the full article.

Wingsuit Flyby

It just so happens that the Adult Diaper vending machine in town has to be refilled twice a week.

Our Disappearing Morals - And How to Get Them Back: A Serious Essay

I have recently stumbled upon the cause of a problem I think we can all agree is highly urgent, and will inevitably result in the eventual demise of the human race. Our societal conscience is vanishing. As a society, our morals are rapidly declining. I know it, and you know it. But, what has gone unknown for the past decade as we have been bystanders of our own downward spiral, is why? Until now.

And it's so simple.

You see, the decline of our morals has been proportional to the decline in, for lack of a better term, the Boogie Man.

Things that used to be okay for parents - back in our 'moral glory days' - are taboo now. And I'm not talking about spanking, humiliating, or washing mouth out with soap. No, I'm talking about scaring the living daylights out of children. That's right, the fear of death.

It's a practice that has been conducted throughout human history, and in all parts of the globe.

"Brush your teeth or the Boogie Man is gonna get ya!"

"Don't tell a lie or the swamp monster will haul you back to his lair!"

"Be nice to your sister or the devil himself will open a gaping chasm in the earth and reach up with his dreadful, molten hand and fetch you down to the cursed depths of eternal hell!"

For some inexplicable reason, that kind of thing is frowned upon nowadays. But so is being a virgin when you get married. Coincidence? I think not.

If you're old enough, you know what I'm talking about. Your parents, or your grandparents, used this tool effectively. Part of it could be because that's all they had to use. Today, we can tell our kids that we'll 'ground' them from their video games, computers, telephones, iPods, and on and on. We've gotten lazy.

But much of the time that just doesn't work. Why? Because time away from a video game for a couple of days is something we all know has a very low mortality rate. But, as we also know, once the Mutant-Wolf-Man gets a whiff of a misbehaving child, he's a goner.

So beautiful, yet so lethal.

Bring back the Sasquatch, Werewolf, Boogie man, Yeti, Swamp Monster, and of course the hideous Man-Thing. As parents, fear of a gruesome violent death is the best weapon against a child that doesn't bring home an acceptable report card.

Oh, and a quick tip: don't be afraid to 'plant' a few werewolf footprints outside your child's bedroom window if, for example, they don't finish their chores on time. This is the forgotten secret that has been lost among our most recent generation, and it works wonders in creating a harmonious, loving family united against a common enemy that patiently stalks, hunts, and finally pounces on the weak.

Don't be weak - and you might just survive. It's a powerful message that today's children just don't hear enough. So, do your part in saving the human race. Bring back the Boogie Man.

With a vengeance.

The Price Is Wrong, So Wrong

Everyone likes a good Price Is Right!

Obama: Sit Down, Shut Up

This video is pretty remarkable because it puts Obama's comments (just this morning) into context. This entire video was pulled from the same speech. And it should infuriate Americans - of every party - when a President tells half of America to shut up and sit down, and says publicly that we don't want you to participate in the democratic process unless you agree with me.

It's a sad day for America.

Videos of the Day

Life is short, people. This video is pretty miraculous.

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Pretty sure the video editing and effects technology we have today isn't capable of 'faking' something like this. Who volunteers to go first?

Parents Fight Over Which Gang Toddler Should Join

From thedenverchannel.com

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.

On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.

"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" Sandoval said.

Manzanares was charged with disorderly conduct, harassment, and domestic violence. He was transported to the Adams County Detention Facility.

On Tuesday, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and was sentenced to a year of probation. The misdemeanor harassment charge was dropped.

Pictures of the Day

Whatever just happened here, I bet it was fun

I'm sure their coach is tired of preaching, "Don't be afraid of the ball!"

Friday's Movie Trailers

It's Complicated, coming to you on Christmas day, released its first trailer. It features... well, just watch:

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The second trailer for Where the Wild Things Are expands on, what appears to me to be, a very strange children's movie.

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Another first trailer, this one from New York, I Love You. Woohoooo...


And no release date yet for The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which has an all-star cast of Coln Farrell, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Christopher Plummer, and Heath Ledger (been in the works a long time), among others.